When Did Working Out Become About Losing Weight?

BEWARE this post is going to be a bit rambling, sorry. There's a lot to get out.

I'm pretty fit and workout a lot. I'm not trying to lose weight, in fact I would actually like to put on some muscle. I don't know how much I weight, I don't really care to know. I know I'm healthy, and I workout to get stronger and be fitter.

So I was kind of heart broken when I was on my run yesterday morning and when paused at a stop light and the girl next me turns and goes "You don't need to lose weight." She meant it as a compliment (I think), but I felt the urge to defend myself and tell her I was, in fact, training.

When did it become safe to assume that anyone who is working out is trying to lose weight? Maybe I just like the feeling I get from it. Maybe I just like running, okay, maybe not, but you get the point. And why do I need to defend myself?

I think it has something to do with the fact I've constantly been told I'm too skinny--- mind you I'm 5'10" and roughly 145lbs, not overly small for my frame. A big part of it has to do with where I was raised, I was a lot smaller than a lot of the girls in New Hampshire, but I was never too skinny for me. That has haunted me for a long time. I hate the being called skinny, I don't comment about my weight or that of others (at least to their face). I don't like talking about it.

I workout to get better, to feel better, to de-stress. And I believe that is why you should workout.

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So if you ever see me at the gym or out running, no I'm not doing it because I'm unhappy with my body. No I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to get stronger, to get faster, to increase my endurance.

Join me-- exercise because it's good for you, not because you "have too."

Steph

I Finally Learned Her Name, but I Still Hate Her

Things I learned about Amy while watching MissAdvised last night:

                  #1 Her name
                  #2 She chews her gum with her mouth open like a cow
                  #3 Girl has SERIOUS issues with food
                  #4 She only wears heels, which makes me think she is short/insecure
                  #5 She quotes Patti Stanger when she is working
                  #6 She's kind of stupid and likes to label people
                  #7 We could never be friends (see numbers 2-6)

I spent part of the episode feeling bad for Julia-- she really likes this guy and just wanted him at her party. However, girl needs to chill. Did she really expect him to just hop a flight (even if it is only a one hour flight) just to come to a dinner party? Take a breath, yes you want to see him, no it doesn't mean he doesn't like you.
But how cute was it when he showed up? She FELL on the floor she was so excited. Adorable.

Emily really does want to settle down, and everyone around her knows it. She just needs to admit it to herself, give up her sex talk show (which is turning off the right guys) and find a good guy. I'm routing for this girl. Although I am curious to how old she is since everyone keeps referencing her biological clock. I'm thinking 37. Guesses?

Back to Amy, since I hate her more than [almost] anyone else on reality TV, (I'm looking at you Teresa Guidice). That painfully awkward client meeting-- learn to drop things and talk about them later. She clearly wasn't taking any of your comments about how hard it is to get back into dating, let it go and let her make a couple mistakes so she is more open to hearing you. Also, take the nice gesture at the door, don't criticize the poor woman as you're running out.
Now, everyone take a breath. She totally got attacked at the party and handled it kind of well. She tried to avoid the confrontation, but talk a little quieter in a room full of people, just saying.
And within minutes I hated her again when she answered "I don't know what you wear apple picking" when that guy asked her out. Really? Have you never been outside? Is that how you respond to being asked out? Who are you?
Date could have been cute, except she wore 4 inch heels, kept talking about how she was  breaking all her rules, and how she was going to have a "cheat day." I wanted to reach through my TV and slap her. She couldn't eat and apple and a piece of pumpkin pie-- she could only have one. Girl has issues. I had 2 bowls of ice cream last night and you know how I feel about that? Awesome.

Can we replace Amy for season 2, if there is a season 2. Dear God please let there be a season 2 just so I can continue to feel better about my dating life.

And where is season 2 of Most Eligible Dallas? I want more Courtney-isms!!

So, who watched last night and what did you think?? Please tell me you all hate Amy as much as I do.

Steph
                

Better Late than Never

I know I'm a day late on this post, but I decided to spend the day at the beach and neglected you.

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I'm sorry, don't hate me.

Now on to this week's MissAdvised. It was just so good.

Let's start with Julia because that girl is all kinds of crazy-- in a fun way. She had a date with a guy she found a Facebook and messaged because she thought his pictures looked fun. Umm, that doesn't scream crazy stalker at all. So she plans a date that even her friends try and talk her out of-- "PROM." Now I love Prom, and am kind of sad colleges don't have one, but I would never make a guy put on a tux for a first date. Actually, I'm going to have no say in what a guy wears on the first date because HE SHOULD PLAN IT. Seriously, is she ever going to let the guy plan the date? At least she didn't beg this one for a kiss.
Although the previews do show her freaking out on the phone next week...

Then we have Emily. Okay, you know people think you're kind of a slutty mess (no judgement, just be safe) when even your friends are setting you up with people in "open relationships." I'm kind of feeling bad for the poor girl because I really do think she just wants to find a guy to settle down with. But I also feel like she did this to herself when she put her sex life in the public forum. At least she didn't say "yes" to some creepy guy this week.

And that leaves the frigid bitch in New York. I honestly don't know her name because I'm too busy making sure I'm not that uptight. I love that she had a stylist come plan her outfit so her boy wouldn't  think the way she dresses make her high maintenance. Because using a stylist screams low-key right? I also kind of love that he dumped her for being crazy. I mean, she yelled at him for not texting her for ONE DAY, after they had had ONE DATE. I give him credit for finishing that date and not disappearing right then. The fact she thinks her actions were even close to acceptable is terrifying to me. She just needs some rich older investment banker type to fund her high maintenance lifestyle. Leave the good looking late 20s guys to me.

Another week with the relationship experts and I feel so much better about myself, even if the mid-west keeps stealing my boys.

Steph

This is Normal Right?

To spend $60 on protein powder on a Friday night? I've been feeling like a blob so I had to do something.

Steph

Let's Set Up Some Structure, Shall We?

Since this blog is starting fresh, I think it's time to set up so structure, some guidelines. I want this blog to delve into the different aspects of my life, my dating, job search, health, cooking, and just other random musings and events I just have to share.

I feel like Wednesday might be a good day to discuss my health. This might be because I've spent the last two days in bed sick, so it's just timely.

I grew up a competitive swimmer, but left the sport three years ago, and now am a proud gym rat and  a reluctant runner. I'm not great about sticking to a run schedule, despite the fact that I'm less than three months out from the Tower of Terror 10 Miler. It always seems that I either feel terrible during my runs or I'm too tired/sick to run when I actually want to and plan to.

Despite feeling like death, I dragged my butt out of bed to get a VERY short run in this morning. I got in just over a mile and while it felt good to move the whole barely being able to breath thing got in my way. But every little bit counts and I feel a little bit less blob like.

In keeping with my attempts to get healthy I also made it to the farmers market this morning.
--Sorry for the lack of pictures, I forgot my camera. I'm new to this whole blog thing so cut me some slack--
I like going to these things but sometimes find them intimidating and never go with any regularity. I decided to venture to one of the DTLA ones today after Yelp said it wasn't too big but wasn't too small either. I liked it-- I have some AMAZING strawberries, carrots so fresh they still have dirt on them (just like when I was a kid!) and some produce to get through the week. I'm a happy camper right now.

Anyone out there a runner? Advice to help me with bad runs/just get out the door? Do you shop farmers markets and have some good tips?

Steph

Growing Up or Just Too Much TV?

Have any of you (or just you, my one reader) seen MissAdvised on Bravo? It's about three "relationship experts" in different cities around the U.S. and their escapades in dating and relationships and sex in the case of Emily in San Fran.

Now, my personal life is a mess, but these girls make me feel so much better about myself. Especially Julia, the LA based dating columnist. Poor thing, she just wants to be loved but instead she just begs guys for kisses, like on every episode. Most of my experience might happened drunkenly at college parties, but if a guy wants to kiss you, you won't have to ask for it.

I don't know why I watch all these shows, but I do. I used to be so jealous of all the awesome dates they went on, because again, I was limited to college parties, maybe a bar and breakfast the next morning if I was lucky-- and that was a big IF. But recently I've been on a couple of really cute dates. While the dates were with different boys with different emotions and different desires attached but they were perfect in their own way.

First up was a date with a boy I really like. He's about 4 years older than I am, which at the moment appears to be my favorite age and he's truly great. He has his pilots license and access to a plane from his work so he took me flying. It was my first time in a small plane and I admit to freaking out a little but he was so sweet about it. What I love was that he pushed me, he challenges me, but I always feel safe and secure with him. He's the boy I want to see if I can make something work with, the one it could be worth it for.

Now if I could just get him to pry himself away from the office long enough to see me. I know he's working super hard launching this company, but come on, find time to have dinner with the girl you hit it off with and who has been so understanding. I don't like waiting around for him not knowing if anything will come out of it once his work craziness calms down.

And then there was the Fourth of July thing. I met a boy, I flirted, things happened, and then two days later he took me to the beach. How very Southern California. He was supposed to teach me to surf, which ended with me getting WRECKED by a wave. It was cute, it is not what I have with the Pilot. I want nothing from Surf boy.

Maybe these real dates are a sign I'm growing up, or maybe I've watched too many dating shows. But since I've watched so many dating shows I'm going to take their advice--so here goes distraction dating-- this seems like such a bad idea.

Is anyone else watching MissAdvised? Do you feel as awkward watching Julia as I do? And can Emily please stop saying "yes" to creepy things?

Steph

What My Life Could Have Been

I was recently added to a Facebook group (because you no longer have a say on Facebook) for my High School 5-year reunion. Yes, that's a thing where I'm from. And technically it shouldn't happen for another year, but they're already planning it.

I was looking through the other group members one day when I was bored and realized that based on profile pictures alone they're are at least 10 children that belong to former classmates. Yep, 10 children four years out of high school. I'm pretty sure only 5 people max are married, and only one of them has a child (and she was pregnant at graduation).

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Now I know I'm from a small town and it's the kind of place where people don't really leave and just kind of settle into their lives very quickly, but really? I just graduated college, am looking for a full time job, hell I don't even have a dog (only because my landlord won't let me but that's not the point) and these people have KIDS?!?
Something is wrong with this.
I will never understand why at 22 someone would want to have a child, you haven't experienced life yet or grown up, why would you want the responsibility of another life? Even if you got married young, wouldn't you want to spend time with your other half exploring the world before you rush into raising a child?

I actually had a dear friend from home visit CA recently on vacation. He's the kind of boy I would probably end up with if I ever moved back. Alright, he's probably the exact boy I would end up with if I moved back to where I grew up. We were out one night and after a few drinks he asked me to move home. Now, this was not the first time we'd had this conversation but it was the first time in person. I asked him what I would do there (it's a tiny town and I have a PR degree, my skills aren't exactly in high demand) to which he responded "We'll get married and have lots of kids." It was so matter of fact and so-- there. I could move home and be married within 3 years, no question. It's just what people do.

I can't say I haven't entertained the thought, especially when things aren't going well in LA, but then I remember I left for a reason. Yes I make stupid mistakes and I'm sure many of people back home think I'm crazy, but I'd rather be single and still learning and growing as a person than be raising a family and stuck in the same place for the rest of my life. I'm busting my ass trying to create the life I always wanted for me. Yes that involves falling in love and getting married one day, but it also means living in a place that makes me happy and finding a career I adore.

I'm trusting that one day I'll have that life, or another life I'm just as happy with. I'm in no rush to settle down, in no rush to get married and have a child. Sure if the right guy came along tomorrow I wouldn't turn him away, but if he takes his time getting here I'm okay with that too.

Am I wrong, should I be more like the people I went to high school with? Did you get married/start a family young, would you do it again? Are you with me, do you think it's crazy to have that kind of responsibility so young? Have you ever looked at the life you "could have had?"

Life and a Blog Change

I started this blog as a class assignment a couple summers ago, and I haven't really done anything with it. There are random splattering of posts but no direction, no real purpose. I want to change that. I just graduated from college, am looking for a job, dealing with life as a 22-year-old post-grad trying to figure out life. I want to track that. I want a way to keep track of what I do, of who I am right now.

Is it going to be embarrassing?
Sometimes.

Is it going to be worth it?
Only time will tell.

So here it goes. Beginning today this blog will be my personal story, my life, my job hunt, my shitty restaurant job, my workouts, cooking, relationships (or lack thereof) and everything in between.

Welcome to my world.

Steph