What defines home?
I always felt a bit trapped growing up because I knew I didn't belong there. And my first year of college was one of the hardest experiences of my life. I was miserable at my school most of the time, but "home" wasn't back east anymore.
But when I moved here, started school in LA, I knew I had found my true home. A year and a half later I'm back to feeling lost and alone again, and wondering if I can get through these next few semesters.
It's been a rough fall. I've lost quite a few "friends" because I spoke up about something I felt was wrong, and said some things, that while I stand by every one of them, were harsh. I know I was right, I was standing up for a friend, and I was honest about my personal feelings about someone. But the people who should have backed me up, backed off. And I took the blame for a lot of things I didn't do or say because I was an easy target.
I've never missed my team more than in these last few months. And I've never questioned the people in my life quite as much as I do now. What kills me is I shut people out because others pushed me to, and told me things that I now have no way of knowing if they really happened.
A lot of bridges have been burned, some I'm happy about and glad to be seperated from, others I wish I could take back.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Starting Over
No, I'm not revamping my life in some big way or anything, I'm starting this blog over.
You see, I created this for a school project, but now I think it may have some merits on it's own. I don't do facebook statuses, too whiny and too many people see them. I don't want my twitter to be a point of complaining and cryptic messages. I want to tell the world what's wrong, and I want to explain.
It's been a pretty shitty few months. And I need a place to talk about that. To talk about how I'm feeling. Maybe no one will ever read these posts. I'm okay with that. This isn't for anyone but me. If I want to share with people close to me I will, but that time will come. For now, this is my therapy, my sounding board, my space.
I usually journal but I haven't done much of that recently. I'm not sure why, but this feels right for the moment in my life.
So welcome. I will whine, I will sound depressed, and odds are it will mane nothing to anyone but me. But I don't write when I'm happy, I don't need to write in those moments.
You see, I created this for a school project, but now I think it may have some merits on it's own. I don't do facebook statuses, too whiny and too many people see them. I don't want my twitter to be a point of complaining and cryptic messages. I want to tell the world what's wrong, and I want to explain.
It's been a pretty shitty few months. And I need a place to talk about that. To talk about how I'm feeling. Maybe no one will ever read these posts. I'm okay with that. This isn't for anyone but me. If I want to share with people close to me I will, but that time will come. For now, this is my therapy, my sounding board, my space.
I usually journal but I haven't done much of that recently. I'm not sure why, but this feels right for the moment in my life.
So welcome. I will whine, I will sound depressed, and odds are it will mane nothing to anyone but me. But I don't write when I'm happy, I don't need to write in those moments.
Friday, December 3, 2010
So I know I don't use this much these days.. I'm working on it..BUT I had to share this.
SuperCoolAgency is having a contest in which once she loses, a UCLA student will have to wear a USC shirt- in the student section- to tomorrow's game.
Help the Trojans win by following the link and adding points to the Trojan total!
FIGHT ON!
BEAT THE BRUINS
http://supercoolcreative.com/usc-ucla
SuperCoolAgency is having a contest in which once she loses, a UCLA student will have to wear a USC shirt- in the student section- to tomorrow's game.
Help the Trojans win by following the link and adding points to the Trojan total!
FIGHT ON!
BEAT THE BRUINS
http://supercoolcreative.com/usc-ucla
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