Home

What defines home?

I always felt a bit trapped growing up because I knew I didn't belong there. And my first year of college was one of the hardest experiences of my life. I was miserable at my school most of the time, but "home" wasn't back east anymore.

But when I moved here, started school in LA, I knew I had found my true home. A year and a half later I'm back to feeling lost and alone again, and wondering if I can get through these next few semesters.

It's been a rough fall. I've lost quite a few "friends" because I spoke up about something I felt was wrong, and said some things, that while I stand by every one of them, were harsh. I know I was right, I was standing up for a friend, and I was honest about my personal feelings about someone. But the people who should have backed me up, backed off. And I took the blame for a lot of things I didn't do or say because I was an easy target.

I've never missed my team more than in these last few months. And I've never questioned the people in my life quite as much as I do now. What kills me is I shut people out because others pushed me to, and told me things that I now have no way of knowing if they really happened.

A lot of bridges have been burned, some I'm happy about and glad to be seperated from, others I wish I could take back.